Posted by Ben Naga
We advanced boldly
And splattered love everywhere
What a mess we made
Posted on October 17, 2014, in Senryu and tagged Foolishness, Life, Love, Relationships, Senryu, Youth. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
Replace the word “love” with “blood” and you have an entirely different poem. Your word choice is impeccable.
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Thank you kindly.But then seventeen syllables don’t leave one much room for manoeuvre. 🙂 Using “blood” instead of “love” would probably require a change in title too I think.
Actually, I think the title contributed to the interpretation; the poem makes me think of student protests being violently suppressed, in part because of the word ‘youth’. This is one of the fascinating things about such short poems; I’m sure this isn’t what you were thinking of when you wrote the poem, but with words like ‘splattered’ and ‘advanced’ tied to youth that’s where my mind went. Then again, maybe I’ve just been reading the news too much lately 😉
Interestingly, while I had in mind romantic indiscretion and you, with very good reason, were lead to think of student protests (after all, I was 20 in 1968) when my wife read it she immediately had visions of sexual abandon. 😀 As you say, this is one of the fascinating things about such short poems.
Reblogged this on Dawn of Divine Rays.
May you splatter love wherever you go. 🙂
You can say that again. 🙂
Happy days! 🙂 (But then some sad ones too. 😦 )
Keeping the faith – I feel the next generation fed up & making some changes. 😉
Faith, hope and peaceful action. 🙂
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"You should stop words and letters, and learn to withdraw and reflect on yourself. When you do so, your body and mind will naturally fall away, and your original Buddha nature will appear." - Dogen
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