The Suicide Note: Senryu

Apr 26

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THE SUICIDE NOTE

Not telling you why
One simple final act of
Passive aggression

About Ben Naga

The Spirit that graces me with its passing has no name and stems not from thoughts and words, though it gathers them up as it flows, but from feeling.

Posted on April 26, 2020, in Poetry, Senryu and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. willowdot21 | April 26, 2020 at 5:47 pm

    No scarlet slit
    No empty bottle
    Of pills or booze.
    No rope to throttle
    Yet blood will ooze.
    Jumped from a great hight
    Soul fledged and flew into the night.💜

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  2. Betty Hayes Albright | May 9, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    This is so powerful, Ben. And then I read your comment about your mother – equally powerful. Belated condolences, Ben…. that must’ve been awfully hard on you.

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    • Ben Naga | May 9, 2020 at 10:45 pm

      These two pieces are not related to one another. “The Dear Departed” was inspired by Willowdot’s poem, although the details of my mother’s departure have been in the back of my mind for some time awaiting their time to come forth as a poem. I have spoken of it before in at least one comment somewhere or other. I have no idea why “The Suicide Note” appeared although I dimly recall decades back reading something about suicide being (sometimes?) used (not always consciously) as a way to punish one or more other people. I don’t believe my mother’s decision was any more than what my poem says: she had had enough. Her death was not hard on me at all actually. While I held no bad will towards her and in fact travelled the length of the country to say a final farewell (which I know she appreciated; her face lit up when she saw me and that felt good) but while there was some love and appreciation any close bond broke when I was 5 or 6. I can still easily picture the very moment. We were very very different people and sometimes that frightened her. She even hinted at that several times. She never could understand who I was or how I felt and acted. A karmic lesson for one another I guess

      I think you are probably the only person I know who bothers to find time to read tags and comments. I appreciate that and admire you for it. I am also grateful that you do me this honour. You are a rather special person, Betty, I think. ❤️

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  3. Betty Hayes Albright | May 9, 2020 at 11:43 pm

    Ben, thank you for sharing this with me about your mother. How hard that must’ve been for you as a child. But as you say, possibly a karmic lesson for one another. (I’ve heard that we often arrange the mutual circumstances of our relationships with others before each incarnation in order to experience and learn.) I’m glad you were able to see her at the end and that her face lit up. That tells me something.

    As for being special, I would say the same thing about you, my friend. ❤️🙂

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