Ragged (Reposted)
RAGGED
……………………………………………………………………………………………Pour Alain Fournier
Leaning close to a tape recorder speaker
To search old pop songs for her memories – are they hollow men?
(You can detect the echo between record player and microphone
Across the big room near Birmingham where they were recorded)
As a saint you have tried to detach yourself
You have told every little secret to many people
To destroy the purity you have repeated your stupid story
Till it runs like a gutter with nameless old remains of words
Broken in half the fragile beauty of spring
And sucked at the bones – walked a hundred times by the same river
Leaning over sad parapets to search again for the flecks of dreams
Which unlike your memories, failed saint, you could never destroy
As you still feel the need to defend yourself
Against the chink of coins made by other people’s memories
Tired of generosity and jealous somehow of their secret sighs
You swear that you were wrong and will be a miser now with them
Are you ready then to find the hidden path
Which leads to a domain ringed by trees that in your youth you sought?
Failing by yourself (nothing is left when all has been destroyed) can you
Ask another, bohemian herself, to complete the map?
You stare at her as she stares at someone else
You have nothing to say, but if she ever slept beside you
Next day, as militants searched for solidarity and saints for God
Perhaps you could search through your blankets for long strands of her hair
Posted on September 19, 2015, in Poetry, Republished and tagged Desire, Foolishness, Loss, Love, Memories, Pain, Relationships, Youth. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.
This has a sting of sadness and longing. Of dreams gone by. I enjoyed the way you wrote this.
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My 21-year-old still deserves our support. He was doing his best, after all. And after all without him as foundation who knows where “I” should be today.
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