Alphabet For The Third Age


A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back
C’s the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight; can’t read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention)
H high blood pressure; I’d rather have low
I for incisions with scars you can show

J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend
K is for knees that crack when they bend
L’s for libido; what happened to sex?
M is for memory; I forget what comes next

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low
O is for osteo-; bones that don’t grow
P for prescriptions; I have quite a few
Just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!

Q is for queasy; is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux; one meal turns to two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears
T is for tinnitus – bells in my ears!

U is for urinary (troubles with flow)
V for vertigo, that’s – “dizzy” you know
W for worry ’bout what’s going ’round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found

Y for another year I’m left here behind
Z is for zest I still have – in my mind!
I’ve survived the symptoms and I’m still employed
Keeping twenty-six doctors all fully deployed!


I just rediscovered this on my pc. I’d completely forgotten it, and where I found it. I certainly didn’t compose it. I wish. ๐Ÿ˜€ A DuckDuckGo search ( finds it all over the place, but no author for me to credit. You may have seen it before, but if not …

About Ben Naga

The Spirit that graces me with its passing has no name and stems not from thoughts and words, though it gathers them up as it flows, but from feeling.

Posted on May 15, 2012, in Reposted from elsewhere and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. Thanks for sharing the ABC’s for old people. I’m not really looking forward to the Third Age at all. I’ll do my best to fight getting older and remain a child at heart as long as I can. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha…an interesting alphabet, 26 things not to look forward to! I was singing your creative genius all through, then I got to the last line ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for sharing, nevertheless.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. haha, something sad turned into something funny ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LOL! Hope you find out the author. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha, I love it! Recently, I found myself wondering how I’d feel when I get to the senior citizens age group… thanks for the enlightenment! I’ll use the next few decades to get psyched for it ๐Ÿ™‚ I so love your sense of humour! Thanks for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As a senior I can attest to Ben Naga’s genius in posting this. It’s all true.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Favorited and starred this so on my dear aunt birthday celebration this year, I’d have something smart to quote (share).

    Have I told you you’re a genius?

    Liked by 1 person

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