Doomsday Senryu: A Looming Silence

DOOMSDAY SENRYU: A LOOMING SILENCE

Inchoate twitter
Chitchatting inhumane race
Babble on until …
——————————————————————

It was inspired by F. H. Hakansson’s poem “Babylon”, which you may find at

http://fhhakansson.com/2012/02/15/babylon/

About Ben Naga

The Spirit that graces me with its passing has no name and stems not from thoughts and words, though it gathers them up as it flows, but from feeling.

Posted on February 15, 2012, in Poetry, Senryu, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.

  1. Thought provoking haiku. Your words continue to demand to be re-read, a sign for me of a really good poet/writer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • … Or an incomprehensible one. πŸ˜› I hope I am not the latter; as for the former, I wish.

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      • Hi Ben

        Ah the self deprecation of the writer.

        I always see poetry/writing as a doorway into one of the rooms of the writer’s home. The reader enters this room, and although everything in the room is the same, the focus of the reader will determine what they see.

        Tricia

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      • When I first listened to Miles Davis’ electric music of the late 60s/early 70s (“Jack Johnson” is a prime example) I recognised, obviously, that it was a kind of improvisatory music (he did not want to be called “jazz”) that was quite different from conventional jazz.

        A tune is like a room. With jazz, the furniture is moved around. Whereas what Miles did here was to put us in a room where the furniture stayed in place and it was the patterns of the fabrics on the furniture, the wallpaper and the curtains that was in constant motion

        If I ever get to have that ability, then perhaps you can call me a “good” poet/writer.

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      • Life, literature, music art – it’s all so much about perception.
        Liked your use of fabric to extend the furniture metaphor.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Perception? Yes … and sensation. Perception is for the mind; sensation is the equivalent modality for the heart, I think: the evocative fabric rather than the physical framework of a piece (of furniture, of writing).

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    • Thank you for your thoughtful comments, Tricia

      Like

  2. After reading the above commentary (which I find very interesting – each reader sees through his/her own “lens” – there probably aren’t any two poetry interpretations alike)

    But back to your Haiku – indeed, society is becoming a tower of babble! (I’ll come back and read your reference to “Babylon” when there’s time, and maybe have more to add. If you can stand more. πŸ™‚ )

    Love the open ending “until…” !!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We are a babbling race, are we not? And with that I shall end my statement so as not to babble πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is truly a wonderful haiku! I love the play on words at the end: “babble on.” I’m glad I inspired you to write something like this πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

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