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Numerals On A Spree
NUMERALS ON A SPREE
8, 10 and 6 got drunk again last night
And you know how it is after a few
8 stumbled, fell over and lay there prostrate
As if paying overawed homage to Infinity
10, as usual, got rather too full of herself
And declared loudly, “I am the Digital Goddess”
6 stayed silent and simply sat there, crestfallen
Embarrassed to have turned into a limp flaccid 9
The Eternal Optimist
THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST
A split-level home
And a failing memory.
Lots of exercise!
Alphabet For The Third Age
ALPHABET FOR THE THIRD AGE
A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back
C’s the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight; can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention)
H high blood pressure; I’d rather have low
I for incisions with scars you can show
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend
K is for knees that crack when they bend
L’s for libido; what happened to sex?
M is for memory; I forget what comes next
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low
O is for osteo-; bones that don’t grow
P for prescriptions; I have quite a few
Just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy; is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux; one meal turns to two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears
T is for tinnitus – bells in my ears!
U is for urinary (troubles with flow)
V for vertigo, that’s – “dizzy” you know
W for worry ’bout what’s going ’round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found
Y for another year I’m left here behind
Z is for zest I still have – in my mind!
I’ve survived the symptoms and I’m still employed
Keeping twenty-six doctors all fully deployed!
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I just rediscovered this on my pc. I’d completely forgotten it, and where I found it. I certainly didn’t compose it. I wish. 
A Google search finds it all over the place, but no author for me to credit. You may have seen it before, but if not …
Senryu On Cheese
EDAM
Distinctive flavour.
What makes this Dutch cheese unique?
It is made backwards.
The NHS Proposals
THE NHS PROPOSALS
The British Medical Association has weighed in on the Prime Minister, David
…..Cameron’s health care proposals.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, and the Dermatologists advised not to make any
…..rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, and the neurologists
…..thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception, and were
…..afraid it might be premature. Some even called it an abortion.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Paediatricians said, “Oh,
…..grow up!”
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could
…..see right through it.
The Surgeons were fed up with all the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the
…..whole thing.
The ENT specialists didn’t swallow it, and just wouldn’t hear of it. Plus, it left a nasty smell.
The Pharmacologists called it a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said,
…..“This puts a whole new face on the matter …”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at
…..the whole idea.
The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, while the Cardiologists didn’t
…..have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to those
…..arseholes in London.
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As a rule I post nothing here apart from my own writing or grapheosy. However this piece relates to a subject (health services) which is of great importance (to those of us who live in the UK at least). It is also both amusing and cleverly written. I friend of mine (an ex-nurse, as it happens) sent it me. I’ve no idea who composed it, but I am more than happy to credit her/him/them with the acknowledgement and kudos, which is richly deserved. (Disclosure: I did tweak it a bit too from the version I received.)
Customer Complaint (Haiku)
CUSTOMER COMPLAINT
The sun can’t keep time.
We had to invent Leap Year.
Shoddy workmanship!
This Is Too Amusing Not To Share
We just had a phone call and learnt that our grandson, who is 5, is writing a series of books based on Star Wars called “Space Wars”. He is writing books 4, 5 and 6 now, and he says he will write books 1, 2 and 3 when he is 30. The characters are drawn in different colours to show whether they are good or bad. (A shame that doesn’t happen in real life. It would make things so much easier. 
) The characters’ names are all based on those of characters from Star Wars. But the bit I found really funny is that he has a character called Obi Two, which just cracks me up!
My Dear Friend Linda Sent Me This
… so I am sharing it with you, dear readers. As with so many things, the best bit is right at the end.
Enjoy, or save it until you’re having a bad day.
A Harsh Critic
Jun 2
Posted by Ben Naga
A HARSH CRITIC
TV aeriel
A bird’s temporary perch
It relieves itself
Posted in Haiku, Poetry, Writing
2 Comments
Tags: Criticism, Haiku, Humour, Social commentary, TV