Mister Grumpy’s Cure For Litter Louts

MISTER GRUMPY’S CURE FOR LITTER LOUTS

Thoughtless littering
Punishment fit for the crime
Drop them where they stand

The P’d-off Princess

THE P’D-OFF PRINCESS

I am the object of their love
Oh yes, they “love” me

With a price they dictate
And in which I had no say

So fuck ‘em all
Because real love is tough

So here comes tough love
Fuck ‘em all

Shush!

SHUSH!

These emotional symphonies of yours,
with their hypnotic little melodies;
encore after encore.
The last thing they need is your applause.

Haiku From Calvary

HAIKU FROM CALVARY

By all that’s holy!
What the hell is going on?
In the name of God!

Hope

HOPE

Though warnings sound throughout the land
And no one seems to understand
And though the end is close at hand
You and I will stand
My brother
You and I will stand

Though they send their planes to sow the land
With seeds of the destruction they have planned
And the rumours of war are on every hand
You and I will stand
My sister
You and I will stand

…..BRIDGE
…..Yesterday´s joy soon turns to sorrow
…..What´s right today may be wrong tomorrow
…..But when we’ve fought our fights
…..And had our fun
…..We shall all be judged by the things we’ve done
…..When we’ve fought our fights
…..And had our fun
…..We shall all be judged by the things we’ve done

And one day soon their fortress grand
Will crumble back into the sand
And we shall sing throughout the land
You and I will stand
My brother
You and I will stand

You and I will stand
My sister
You and I will stand
——————————————————————

It’s a song, so don’t expect too many pyrotechnics in the text. It’s supposed to be direct, straightforward and easily sung by vast crowds of very determined people.

Ça Suffit

ÇA SUFFIT

I beg to announce
I’ve had it with you
Or rather ‘cos I haven’t
Not the it I wanted anyway
Not the one you promised me

You knew I was looking for
More than pretty pleases
Party favours and posies
A dalliance, a pantomime
A graceful false pretence

This orient express of ours has gone west
I’m afraid and I’m calling a halt
That’s it, enough already
I’m ringing the bell and calling time
Drink up, put your coat on and get out

I’m done with fooling either of us
I’m clicking you out of my life
You’ve pushed all my buttons
Or at least that’s what you thought
Well, here’re some you missed

Pause – “click” … reflect
Cancel – “click”
Unfollow – “click”
Unlike – “click”
Delete – “click”

Renewal

RENEWAL

Amid the
Slowly settling
Smouldering rubble
Of what remained
Of the living room,

Still faintly quivering
With the last echoes
Of our screaming havoc,

She took a deep breath,
Rubbed her hands together and smiled.

“Well,” she said,”that’s cleared the air.
Shall we have a cup of tea?”

——————————————————————

My partner (and I for that matter) wish to deny that this piece in any way describes our relationship.

Bigfoot

BIGFOOT

I woke up this morning
Sooty footprints everywhere
In the kitchen, on the patio
In the bathroom, on the stair
There were footprints black as carbon
Hanging heavy on the air
And the paper lying on the mat
Said “Bigfoot’s here. Beware!”

…..Bigfoot’s eyes
…..Are on the prize
…..And never mind the cost
…..If we don’t cut him down to size
…..And soon
…..Then all is lost

Now I thought Bigfoot was a myth
It seems that’s not the case
And he’s not just in the U.S. now
He’s all over the place
He’s hosting feel good TV shows
With a big grin on his face
And there’s no escape from Bigfoot
He’s already up in space

…..Chorus

Bigfoot’s running factories
Churning out miracle pills
Bigfoot’s running colleges
Teaching vocational skills
Bigfoot’s got a master plan
For curing all our ills
If you see Bigfoot heading your way
Don’t panic, head for the hills!

…..Chorus

Bigfoot’s in the shopping mall
Signing up recruits
Handing out Rolex watches
And free Armani suits
Opening concessions
On all the major routes
Something tells me Bigfoot’s getting
Too big for his boots

…..Chorus

The government keeps on talking
About how much they care
The subject’s global warming
… Or is it just hot air?
The thing they really care about
Is Bigfoot’s market share
But Bigfoot paid for the election
So I suppose it’s only fair

…..Chorus

I eat apples from South Africa
Drink coffee from Peru
Drive a brand new 4 by 4
And collect the air miles too
Hey, why worry about this stuff
When there’s nothing you can do
My carbon footprint’s through the roof
And I’m a Bigfoot too

…..Bigfoot’s eyes
…..Are on the prize
…..And never mind the cost
…..If we don’t cut him down to size
…..And soon
…..Then all is lost

DADT (1999 – 2010)

DADT (1999 – 2010)

Welcome to one Private’s unprivate personal hell
Let’s drink a toast in honour of Benny
Shot through the heart by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

A spiteful, misbegotten fear cloaked in a pious shell
Let’s drink a toast in honour of Denny
Welcome to one Private’s unprivate personal hell

Discharged to stop them tainting other personnel
Let’s drink a toast in honour of Jenny
Shot through the heart by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

There’s no marker on the battlefield where they fell
Let’s drink a toast in honour of Kenny
Welcome to one Private’s unprivate personal hell

Just to speak their love’s name was to rebel
Let’s drink a toast in honour of Lenny
Shot through the heart by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

They understood prejudice only too well
Let’s drink a toast in honour of Penny
Welcome to one Private’s unprivate personal hell
Shot through the heart by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

Twin Towers

TWIN TOWERS

They went on and called
The World Trade Centre
The Twin Towers
Despite Tolkien

Despite Tolkien

Despite Tolkien
They went on and called
The World Trade Centre
The Twin Towers

They didn’t do irony

They honoured profit instead
Even in their hometown
Morgoth and Sauron, Saruman
Shiny windows, shiny cars

Shiny lives

And to them malice only existed
A world away, when somebody
Usually with funny coloured skin
Dared to get in the way

Kiss of death

September the Eleventh, Two Thousand and One
Business as usual, a bright sunny day
Suddenly all that certainty and security gone
A truly impolite awakening, for sure

A quite rude awakening in fact

I worked out from way back
Not to keep saving drowning people
Better to sort out the villains
Who were busy dumping them in

And laughing

So I spent the morning, then the afternoon
Sure it would arrive, claiming responsibility
Just three words – Enough Is Enough
Yours sincerely, Oxfam

Big disappointment

——————————————————————

“It’s tough to counterpoise hot-button issues with rationality.” – Russ Baker

Please note that this poem is not intended to imply any disrespect to the people who died when the World Trade Organisation buildings were destroyed, nor to the many thousands of people who have been killed or had their lives disrupted or destroyed as a consequence. This poem is not about Al Qaeda. It is not about the high impact of an instant “terrorism” attack but the slow motion obscenity of induced poverty and starvation. So while all that light is being shone today on what we are expected to concentrate on – the events at one particular place on one particular day ten years ago, here’s another little spotlight on the same events, but from another perspective on what the World Trade Organisation represents and its impact on the suffering of not thousands but millions of people all over the world every day.

“As we move deeper into an age of misinformation, disinformation, and superfluous information, maintaining our collective memory will more and more depend on honest information brokers; storytellers, journalists, investigative reporters who pursue a story with a passion and hunger for truth.” – Bill Berkowitz

“We use the madness to separate the events so that we don’t have to recognize the politics they have in common. The madness of each individual act enables us to distance ourselves from the politics that burn under the polite society we’ve created” – Bill Berkowitz

“Why, in a world that produces more than enough food to feed everybody, do so many – one in seven of us – go hungry?”
- Growing A Better Future: Food Justice In A Resource-constrained World
(http://www.oxfam.org/sites/www.oxfam.org/files/growing-a-better-future-010611-en.pdf)